isabella_7w7
01-08-2007, 06:04 AM
I am 28 years old and I have been married for not even two years to a South Korean man, whom I met in Korea when I was teaching there. I brought him over to the States 7 months ago, and we are having massive marital problems. First there is a language barrier. I barely speak Korean and he barely speaks English. We can communicate somewhat and have our own little language devised but there is still much left to be desired. I am the sole provider and he is extremely dependent on me. He didn't even work in Korea, I did. I'm a grad student with high ambitions and he really doesn't want to do anything.
Our marriage is lifeless. He never wants to do anything but watch animation all day. I admit I'm not great either, as I am wrapped up in grad school and find myself involved in my own world and colleagues. We are just so apart intellectually. I know he's having adjustment issues (I know I did in Korea) but he never tries to adjust to this country. He won't really try to learn English. I enrolled him in English classes but we've dropped them. Not once has he even gone into a store by himself and get something. I pretty much do everything and I've grown so resentful of my role as caretaker. I feel more like a mom than a wife. I know in our marriage, I'm basically always going to be supporting him.
I feel ashamed of having such an emasculated husband. He really is a sweetheart and does try to clean the house, but he doesn't want to do anything else in his life. Some nights he'll drink himself into oblivion to the point of crying binges, which I'm getting fed up of dealing with (and he was like this in Korea too). I can't ever leave him...he's so dependent on me. I guess I feel like I don't have a man.
P.S We can't even go to couples counseling because he doesn't understand English.
Our marriage is lifeless. He never wants to do anything but watch animation all day. I admit I'm not great either, as I am wrapped up in grad school and find myself involved in my own world and colleagues. We are just so apart intellectually. I know he's having adjustment issues (I know I did in Korea) but he never tries to adjust to this country. He won't really try to learn English. I enrolled him in English classes but we've dropped them. Not once has he even gone into a store by himself and get something. I pretty much do everything and I've grown so resentful of my role as caretaker. I feel more like a mom than a wife. I know in our marriage, I'm basically always going to be supporting him.
I feel ashamed of having such an emasculated husband. He really is a sweetheart and does try to clean the house, but he doesn't want to do anything else in his life. Some nights he'll drink himself into oblivion to the point of crying binges, which I'm getting fed up of dealing with (and he was like this in Korea too). I can't ever leave him...he's so dependent on me. I guess I feel like I don't have a man.
P.S We can't even go to couples counseling because he doesn't understand English.