bubbrubb
01-25-2007, 04:13 PM
My BIL(hubby's younger bro) and his fiance have just broken the news to my husband and I that they're getting married on Friday Dec 28th...one of our 2 wedding anniversarys(b/c of being from different backgrounds we had 2 ceremonies..on 28th n' 29th). Also, since they're the only 2 siblings and his brother was a bestman in our wedding...he has asked my husband to be the bestman for his.
Originally when I had heard this, I completely flipped out and my husband (caught in the middle) out of loyalty to me was forced to tell his brother that we may not be able to make it to the wedding (if we were there he wouldn't be his bestman) if that's the day they pick. After much pleading from BIL and crying from his fiance, I felt bad and gave in to say we'd be there, but wasn't fully comfortable. So, few days later we again had this come up and this time the hidden issues(such as we all have been very distant and kinda hurful to each other b/c of family issues w/ my in-laws leading from holidays,etc). My BIL has apologized and wants to make peace and improve our relationship and we want to do the same, so we have ironed out a lot and feel much better.
However, I still told him that we wish they could get married on a day other than our anniversary. To which their response was that they tried to look for any other date, esp since winter was the one time they would like to NOT get married, but b/c of her being in teaching (grad) school n' him on his way to law school, cannot find another other day w/o delaying the wedding at least 6 months(til' summer '08) in order to have a "proper" wedding where they could take a honeymoon after(due to days off from school). He even offered to sit and go over every weekend in the year w/ me to show me that they had really considered every other weekend. He also said that him and his fiance had obviously talked about doing a toast to our anniversary on their wedding day and making it a part of their wedding.
Although, after ironing things out w/ him, I am feel relatively ok with the matter now(esp since I'll be in grad school almost every weekend for the next 2 yrs and wouldn't be able to make his weddding if it were on another weekeend.)
However, everytime someone expresses disbelief when they hear that this wedding is on the same day as our anniversary, some animosity comes back.
I don't want to have this feeling that I'm being a pushover and that they're getting their way.
Should we take our "being ok w/ it" back and should my hubby just tell his brother that he will not be in the wedding or we won't go to the wedding altogether? :twisted: :evil:
Please advise.
Thanks!
Originally when I had heard this, I completely flipped out and my husband (caught in the middle) out of loyalty to me was forced to tell his brother that we may not be able to make it to the wedding (if we were there he wouldn't be his bestman) if that's the day they pick. After much pleading from BIL and crying from his fiance, I felt bad and gave in to say we'd be there, but wasn't fully comfortable. So, few days later we again had this come up and this time the hidden issues(such as we all have been very distant and kinda hurful to each other b/c of family issues w/ my in-laws leading from holidays,etc). My BIL has apologized and wants to make peace and improve our relationship and we want to do the same, so we have ironed out a lot and feel much better.
However, I still told him that we wish they could get married on a day other than our anniversary. To which their response was that they tried to look for any other date, esp since winter was the one time they would like to NOT get married, but b/c of her being in teaching (grad) school n' him on his way to law school, cannot find another other day w/o delaying the wedding at least 6 months(til' summer '08) in order to have a "proper" wedding where they could take a honeymoon after(due to days off from school). He even offered to sit and go over every weekend in the year w/ me to show me that they had really considered every other weekend. He also said that him and his fiance had obviously talked about doing a toast to our anniversary on their wedding day and making it a part of their wedding.
Although, after ironing things out w/ him, I am feel relatively ok with the matter now(esp since I'll be in grad school almost every weekend for the next 2 yrs and wouldn't be able to make his weddding if it were on another weekeend.)
However, everytime someone expresses disbelief when they hear that this wedding is on the same day as our anniversary, some animosity comes back.
I don't want to have this feeling that I'm being a pushover and that they're getting their way.
Should we take our "being ok w/ it" back and should my hubby just tell his brother that he will not be in the wedding or we won't go to the wedding altogether? :twisted: :evil:
Please advise.
Thanks!